


The Secret of Chihiro Fujisaki

by greenful



Category: Dangan Ronpa
Genre: And kinda Chapter 3, Chihiro is Ultimate Cinnamon Roll, Gen, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Spoilers for Chapter 2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-26
Updated: 2017-01-26
Packaged: 2018-09-19 23:43:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9465851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greenful/pseuds/greenful
Summary: Chihiro Fujisaki has kept a secret since childhood. When Monokuma threatens to reveal all the Ultimates' secrets, what is the Ultimate High School Level Programmer to do? A look into the mind of Chihiro Fujisaki the day Monokuma threatened to reveal their secrets.





	

Chihiro Fujisaki awoke feeling the best he had in days. He had just woken from a dream in which he had been a knight, clothed with shining armour. He’d valiantly fought hordes of monsters, utterly demolished an evil dragon, and finally, saved the beautiful princess that had been trapped in a far off tower. He had swept her up into his arms, and carried her off to safety. Fujisaki had felt in that dream something he had never felt in his waking life; he felt strong, he felt powerful, he felt, for lack of a better word, manly. As the haze of sleep lifted and cold reality descended upon him, Fujisaki’s happiness faded. He began to remember where he was, and what had happened. The sight of Kuwata’s body, broken and beaten by a thousand baseballs, the floor below drenched in his blood, the light gone from his eyes. Fujisaki, in horror, broke down weeping in his bed, curled in the fetal position, wishing to disappear.

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But no matter what he wished, he could not stay there forever. The others needed comfort just as much as he did, and he had to be there with them. He went to the bathroom to get ready for the day. He took a short shower, and stepping out, went to shave. He probably didn’t have to shave his face, as he’d never grown much facial hair, but he had to be perfectly sure that his face was smooth. The slightest stubble could shatter the illusion he’d been crafting for years. He also had to be tremendously careful. If he were to cut his face while shaving, it would open the question: why a girl like Fujisaki would shave her face? Satisfied with the state of his face, he moved on to his legs.

It was an enjoyable ritual for Fujisaki. The lathering of the shaving cream, the gentle gliding of the razor along his girlish legs, the smoothness of his skin when he was done. He was tremendously thankful for Monokuma’s supplying of the implements, though surely Monokuma wanted them to be used for murder. The task took just enough of Fujisaki’s attention to prevent his thoughts from wandering to the hellhole they were all stuck in. Unfortunately, he got a little too lost in thought, and nicked his ankle. Not a big deal, the injury would be hidden under his sock. But the blood draining down the shower, little though it was, brought back Maizono’s corpse to his mind. He kept himself together just long enough to finish shaving. He wouldn’t want his shaking hands to cause any other nicks. He dressed, and began to head out.

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The morning roll call was different than usual. Fujisaki had taken longer than usual this morning, and was slightly tardy. He wasn’t used to being late, but it was still bizarre to see Oowada present before him. Strange though it was to see Oowada here in the morning, even stranger was his phenomenally buddy-buddy attitude toward Ishimaru. They had their arms around each other's’ shoulders, were laughing and talking, just generally “bro-ing” out. Given the animosity they’d had for each other just the night before, it was remarkable, and a kind of symbol of hope. They did not have to breed animosity in this school life of mutual killing. They could cooperate. They could become friends. They could overcome despair. The thought comforted Fujisaki.

“Yo, Fujisaki!” Oowada called from his world of brotherhood. Fujisaki quickly walked over.

“Good morning, Oowada. How are you today?” Fujisaki smiled.

“Me and my bro Ishimaru are bro-tastic! We had a manliness contest last night, and we couldn’t even find a winner, the two of us are that bro-like. But this ain’t about me. That prick Togami was being a real asshole to you yesterday. You alright?”

Fujisaki was astonished. He noticed Oowada sticking up for him yesterday, but had partly rationalized it as Oowada itching for a fight. He hadn’t anticipated anyone wanting to stick up for someone as weak as himself. “I’m doing fine, Oowada. No need to worry about me! Thanks for asking though. I wouldn’t have thought someone as strong as you would ever worry about someone like me.”

“Don’t be ridiculous! What sort of a man would I be if I didn’t stick up for a lady like you? We bikers may be lawbreakers, but we’ve still got a man’s honour, haven’t we?” Oowada said.

“Certainly, brother! If we do not stick up for those who can not stick up for themselves, what sort of men, or bros, are we?” Ishimaru chimed in. Fujisaki, though grateful for their supportive attitudes, still felt the tinge of guilt and shame he felt every time someone tried to stick up for him on the basis of his ‘weakness’. He bunched his hands up in his skirt, and nodded, gave a quick goodbye, and went off to eat breakfast. 

However, he had no appetite. He knew he was weak, and was so angry with himself that he couldn’t stand up to Togami himself. He swore he would become stronger, and took a determined bite of his eggs. His repeated oaths of self-improvement were soon interrupted by an announcement. Monokuma wanted them to go to the gym for another ‘pep rally’. Fujisaki steeled himself, and prepared himself for whatever was about to come.

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As the envelopes drifted down from where Monokuma had thrown them, Fujisaki felt a sense of dread. He did not know why, but he knew that the contents of the envelope would provide only pain. He knelt down and picked up the envelope. It had his name on it, and proved easy to open. He pulled out the slip of paper, and as he read it, he fell to his knees.

 

_ Even though he is a boy, Chihiro Fujisaki dresses as a girl _

 

Tears immediately welled up in his eyes. What would he do? Memories flooded his mind by the dozen, the countless times he’d been bullied, bruised, beaten, broken, in his youth. The shame and self-loathing he’d felt when he lay helpless on the ground, knowing that there was nothing he could have done. He was weak and he knew it. Everyone at Hope’s Peak knew that he was the weakest one of them, and that he would die next. They were all just too polite, but Togami spoke the truth. Togami was the only one who would say what he believed, and Fujisaki was torn apart.

From the sound of it, the others were in similar turmoil. Ishimaru was in an all out panic, Celeste was scanning the room as if she was already planning who she would murder, Togami held the envelope crumpled in his hand, muttering threats toward Monokuma, and Sakura and Oowada were simply still. Looking around, Fujisaki wiped his tears, got up, and made up his mind. He would be weak no longer.

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Fujisaki was seated at the desk in his room. He was just as determined to become stronger, but he was not so foolish as to rule out the notion of his being the next murder. Togami and Celeste had made their position on the murders very clear: they would do anything to win, and Fujisaki was the obvious easy victim for them to kill. Beyond that, any of the others may have been so influenced by the threat of their secrets being released that they’d choose to kill to keep it quiet. So, in the potential eventuality that he was to be the next murder, Fujisaki had to finish this project to ensure that the other students could make it through Monokuma’s sick game.

Fujisaki’s fingers flew across the keyboard, the tapping of the keys like the sound of rain relentlessly striking a rooftop. Togami had found the laptop, which did not work, the other day in the library. As such, it had been passed off to the Ultimate High School Level Programmer. But to Fujisaki, it would not be nearly enough to restore the laptop to functioning condition. It wouldn’t be any good to anyone if he was gone, and no one else could use the computer to its peak potential. 

So, he had formulated this plan. It was a risk, nothing any other programmer would dare to try, even if they could hope to make an attempt. A self-aware AI had only ever been theoretical to the programming community, and something so dangerous as to be thoroughly frowned on. However, given the circumstances, Fujisaki could see nothing else to do with the laptop that would be of any use to the others. As a sort of counter-measure, he’d put as much of himself as he could into the program, to ensure its benevolent, or at least benign nature. He finished the final line of code, closed the laptop, and put in his duffel bag. He sighed. Perhaps it was foolish, but Fujisaki hoped with all his heart that Alter Ego would be helpful for the group.

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Fujisaki was picking out a track suit to begin his workout in when he heard the clack of high heels on the tile floor. He hastily tossed a light blue one into the duffel bag, and whirled around. Celeste stood there, simply staring at him for nearly a minute. “It’s late, Fujisaki. Shouldn’t you be in bed? Who knows what sort of danger one may encounter this late at night. Why, someone else may just be out late as well. Rather a dangerous gamble, isn’t it?”

“Y-yeah, Celeste. But what are you out here for?”

“I believe the technical terms is, it’s none of your business.”

“Then I suppose, I don’t have to tell you mine either, Celeste.” 

“Fair enough. I’ll leave you be, then.”

“Thank you so much!”

“No problem. Nice tracksuit, by the way.”

Fujisaki let out a little yelp. The sleeve had still been sticking out of the duffel bag. He quickly stuffed that into the bag as well. He waved a hasty good-bye, and left for the public baths on the first floor.

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After depositing the laptop in one of the lockers at the public bath, Fujisaki went upstairs to the gym. He had to start his quest for self-improvement sometime, so why not start at the gym? He got out his handbook, and scanned it into the lock, which opened the door to the guys’ locker room.

In it was one surprised Oowada. He visibly recoiled, partly from the fact he didn’t expect anyone else to be up this late, partly because the clearly-a-female Fujisaki was in the men's locker room. 

“Hi, Oowada,” Fujisaki said. He hadn’t expected someone else to be there, but on the other hand, this provided a splendid opportunity. Oowada was the paragon of manliness. If Fujisaki had ever seen a strong individual, he was right there in front of him.

“Fujisaki? What are you doing here? This is the guys’ room.” Oowada stumbled across his words. Understandable, given his situation.

This was the moment Fujisaki had been dreading. The moment of revelation, the moment he had to throw away his entire lifestyle like an old article of clothing that was no longer suitable for him, but was too sentimental to toss. But now, it was decided.

“Oowada, I’m a guy.” Fujisaki said, barely a whisper. 

“What was that?”

He said it again, louder. “I’m a guy, Oowada.”

There was a pause. Oowada slowly exhaled. “Holy shit. That’s your secret? That’s heavy, man.”

“But that’s not it, Oowada. I want to become stronger. When I was a kid, I was picked on for being so weak, for being so girly. So, I decided to hide my insecurities behind my girly features, to live life as a female. It wasn’t who I was, but… it kept them from hurting me. For a girl, having girly looks is a compliment, so then the only person that could hurt me was… myself.” 

Fujisaki didn’t roll up his sleeves, but he could practically see the other use of his razor beneath them. He rubbed his arms subconsciously, hyper-aware that he was rubbing the scabs and scars on his forearms just beneath the layer of fabric that hid what he had implied earlier. The only person who could hurt him was himself. But no longer. 

“It was awful, Oowada. It wasn’t who I wanted to be, but I was stuck like that. Stuck in this lie, stuck in pretending to be someone I never was, and was never meant to be. I want to be a guy, Oowada. I want to be a man, and I… I came here to start working for that. I want to leave behind this girly facade, and become manly.”

“Why are you telling me all this? I mean, thanks for trusting me. You have my word from one man to another that I’ll never tell anyone unless you want me to. But… why did you decide to tell me this?”

Fujisaki thought for a moment. Part of it was that he had simply been explaining himself for entering the locker room, but now that he thought about it...

“Oowada… could you help me train? You’re so strong, so powerful, so… manly! If I could pick anyone in the world to help me, it would be you. You are everything that I’ve never been. Could you teach me?”

Oowada was overcome. “Sure… sure I’ll train you,” he said. It was automatic, almost mechanical. Fujisaki didn’t notice anything off in Oowada’s voice. He was simply overjoyed that Oowada had accepted his secret so willingly, and beyond that, the fact that Oowada offered to train him! It was so exciting.

“O-okay then! I’ll just get changed, and then we can start! Thank you so much, Oowada!” Fujisaki then turned around to his duffle bag, where he started to pull out the tracksuit. He was understandably distracted, in his own world, a haze of joy at the notion of Oowada helping in his quest. He was so ecstatic, that it was like he was hardly even there.

However, this distraction meant that Fujisaki never heard the flow of cusses from Oowada’s mouth, as the latter began to unravel. He muttered about strength, sick jokes, his own secret, and other topics. Fujisaki never noticed Oowada roam around the room in his anger, to stumble upon a dumbbell. Fujisaki never noticed Oowada hefting the dumbbell high into the air, or Oowada shout that he was stronger than Fujisaki, and stronger than his brother. Finally, Fujisaki never noticed, hardly even felt the dumbbell collide with his skull. And Fujisaki never noticed anything ever again.


End file.
